Putting the On Back in Apron

Hello friend’s of first Fridays!  It’s TJ from Studio Mailbox here in an attempt to bring you a few laughs.  Last month I joined in with my project for scrappy journal book covers but this month I’m back on track with our regularly scheduled monthly dose of sewing humor.

Was it just me or was September cray-cray?  Over here it was the kind of busy where every aspect of my life felt like it was stretched to the limit.  It was sort of ironic that when school started back up that it actually got busier.  How can that be?  But alas, on top of life, there was orientation, picture day, hockey, and a last-minute birthday party invite that came home in the school folder. September brought me an interview and a new job.  There was a magnificent art retreat in town where I got to sell at their craft sale as well as take a fabulous class.  I spent days getting ready.  And during all this creative hustle it started bothering me just how many times I change my clothes.

We all have different work habits.  I have no idea how mine developed but it basically goes like this:  when I’m about to do anything messy I go into my studio, grab some clean work clothes from the pile and change everything I’m wearing, sometimes even my socks.  I get into uniform as if I were an exterminator or an accident scene cleaner.  Maybe this is a hold over from the days where I’d get out of school and mom would make me change into play clothes.  I have no idea.   The bottom line is that I’m like a highly creative yet slightly dysfunctional Mr. Rogers.  Whatever, it works for me.  I have never been much of an apron person but then again I’m usually working from home alone.

When I’m at the book center I wear an apron if I’m printing, but it’s one from the community pile.  I try not to think about lice or cooties as the strap rubs the back of my neck.  The last time I reached into one of the pockets of a community apron I pulled out a handful of feminine products and decided that it would be really, really nice to have my own personal protective garment.  Just sew yourself a dang apron, I thought to myself.

There was extra initiative behind my newly found interest in aprons because the art class I signed up for had an apron noted on the student supply list.  Holy crap.  An official reason to wear an apron.  Duh!  Of course nobody would want to look at me in my paint splattered grungy jeans and stained up t-shirt all day.  Apparently the rest of the world wears decent clothes when they work and then protect them with their trusty aprons!  So this is how you don’t look like a street person at lunch time.  The more I thought about it the more convinced I became about the pure genius of it all.  It was official.  I wanted a ticket for the apron train.

Of course no undertaking like this happens unless I lay around searching Pinterest for a few hours.  Do you people have any idea just exactly how many different kind of aprons there are out there? I didn’t even bother starting a new board.  I pinned a few things and then just sort of fell into some kind of apron coma while paging through screen after screen of related pins.  Clearly I was in over my head.  Once I realized I could make this as hard or easy as imaginable I decided I better take the easy path.  I mean let’s face it, nobody gets ahead in life by taking the hard road.

One quick look around my sewing room I decided I could do one of two things, construct a denim apron or pimp one of hubby’s dress shirts.  The denim felt daunting.  It didn’t take long to talk myself out of that idea.  I mean it’s not like I’m a blacksmith for cripes sake.  Does one need an apron so heavy they could bring it to their own x-ray appointments?  Clearly this was a job that a dress shirt could fill.  In hindsight I would not recommend the nicest, thinnest dress shirt from the pile either but hey what fun would it be if there wasn’t a learning curve?

I texted Heather, “not sure what I’m doing but trying one of those men’s shirt refashion aprons… think I need darts. LOL”

I attach a photo of the poorly constructed apron hanging from my neck like a muumuu.  I hadn’t sewn the sleeves back onto it to act as ties.

She replies, “are there gathers in the bust? Or are you asking about darts on the side?”

Ugh.  Leave it to the boss to get all technical on me.  I text her back that I put a pleat in the top where I attached it to the waist piece.  I think it was a pleat anyway, she totally fell for it.

In the end it turned out better than I expected.  I made it nice and long in the body, it actually fits my torso unlike the community aprons that tie right under my boobs.  I still haven’t decided if I should make the overall length shorter, mine looks like it would trip me if I tried to walk up a flight of stairs.  Last night I wore it while processing garden carrots in the kitchen and felt like a famous celebrity chef.  That was right up until I spilled all over myself and it soaked right through to my shirt beneath.

Should’ve went with the denim.  Back to the drawing board.

TJ Goerlitz is a mixed media artist who pretends to be a seamstress whenever possible.  Come connect with her on her site, Studio Mailbox, her Facebook page, or in Pinterest.  Join her on the first Friday of every month where she shares her latest sewing tales with the readers of The Sewing Loft.